Alter ego

I've been there, in a point where I feel too tired to continue but not ready yet to stop. I also been there,in a moment when I wished secretly about something to happen and once it happens, I dont feel it turns out right. Stuck in some inconsistency and have no idea about the way out. My alter ego has been such a worst enemy also a best friend at the very same time. Help me to go trough situations also drag me to the deepest limbo of mistakes. I've been questioning my self for over and over again. About that classic questions I've mentioned for hundred times. You might say I'm such a helpless and clueless pathetic, but isnt it alter ego of a human being for somehow somewhat to feel lost so you could be found? I was thinking that I'm right at the moment, but then there I go for another time when I thought i was wrong. One day i woke up from a dream. Too weird cause it feels too real. And now i knew why its way too real to be a dream, it happened on the following day. My alter ego been there, told me to let go. But another me also been there, told me to hold on tight. And in the end of the day, its me as a whole who decide.