Before going 19

So, its 23;18 now. Just about minutes till i turn 19 yo. Yay or nay? Haha, i cant even decide. I'm going older and older and older, and hopefully also wiser, amien :)

Funny thing is, i cant sleep. It just bugs me you know. Lot of things going on my mind. I dont even know where to start. All i know is, i want to write these nerves down into my blog. About the babbles before i turn 19. What to expect? Well, i expect nothing actually. I think its been too old to expect things to happen in 19. If there's thing that i expect, it would be me who turn wiser, maturer and calmer than i was. Really, just that simple :)

And suddenly, now i miss my dad so freaking much. I'm going back to Jakarta this sunday which means i will not see my dad as often as i did during holiday. And also means my days to pay the times that went by without him is going to be over soon. Its still sad for me to go back to his place sometimes. See him alone there, without family like it used to be. It reminds me about thing that i wish i could forget or wish never happened. Ah, here i am. The melodramatic side of me that I hate so much. Nighty night then. I didnt expect anyone to read this post anyway but if one of you might accidentally drop by and read this one, you may just want to ignore it ;)