Decision

When it comes to decision, I'm type of a girl who will take long time to decide. I just dont like to hold back one day and regret the decision that I made. Or I simply want to make sure that I already gave my best consideration of any kind of possibilities toward every single of thought that pass my mind. Basically, I dont want to do anything halfway. These past few days I've been struggling with myself. I was questioning my self like every seconds even I'm still till now. The basic standards question that came up to my mind was simply like: What do I really want to do? But then, that basic and simple question turns out to be a very fundamental and important question which make me look like a confused dumb who dont know what to decide. And I hate this clueless-ness. I've been wandering around. Did i already follow my passion? Cause what I thought I'm really doing was, I didnt do anything to make me myself happy. I follow people intention and advices too much, that I forgot, this is my life, not them to decide. I thought i was being flexible by being there and here like anywhere i want myself to be. But then, I realize, I'm in nowhere, somewhere in between. And to tell truth, it sucks to know that I dont really have a place where I really belonged to. I thought it was good so I can broadened my social life, but you know what? It all seems fake. The people where I thought they're real. And now i feel like myself drowned into another high school drama -_- haha oh well. Someone has to stop this shit before it becomes complete utter bullshit, like seriously. In the end of the day, I've been talk to my friends. People who I thought logical also rational enough to give me advices. And gladly, they listened and yes, they gave me their perspectives. After what we've been talking about, then one of my friend came up with a statement "Take it or never". Means that I cant stay this way forever. I have to decide about what I truly want the most. I cant do something halfway and I dont wanna be an average one who will always live her life somewhere in between. I have to stand in one exact place to identify who I really am. Oh dude, this post sounds so high school and so growing up teenager, doesnt it? hahahah Forgive me my dear friends. I just cant help to write it down, cause somehow its one of ways to make myself feel better. If you're being asked: A must or your passion? What will you answer? Cause being realist and dreamer, somehow just cant get along that well.