Island of the Gods

Batur

The pool view from my inn, Beneyasa inn

Motel Mexicola Restorante

El Kabron

Beautiful sunset view at El Kabron

Beautiful sunset view at El Kabron

The hidden paradise, Pandawa Beach

Silhoutte

 

Batur view at Restoran Apung Kintamani

La Plancha

View from my plane

Friends and Lover

View from Pura Uluwatu

Big statue at Pandawa

Dreamland beach

Batur's Scenery

Last night in Bali

Pandawa

Its a memorable and amazing 5 days trip to Bali. And now i cant hardly wait for the next trip to Bromo :)

A person to be kept

I have to confess that I am kind of person who did lot of mistakes. I realize i keep losing my friends cause of the mistake i did. And they're turning into haters, strangers who decide to cut their relationship off with me. They choose to make a distance, a barrier which i couldnt passing in. Got to admit, most of my times spent for the guilt i had. I'm regretting it, but the saddest thing is... I know that there's nothing i could do to fix it. The only thing i could do is letting go and moving on. To keep reminding myself about it everyday and to live in the idea of it, already feels like punishment for me. But i know, the real punishment are... I'm losing friends and a bad image of me is created.

I feel sorry for the mistake i did. I really am. I wish there's something i could do to erase those. But i know i cant live in that guilt like forever. I cant get drowned in this, and shut myself down forever. I deserve another chance, everyone does. Though not everyone is able to giving me another chance. And i'm not hating those who cant, its their right anyway.

During my hardest time, i found someone i never seen before. He still sticks to me no matter what they said about me. He still stays there though I keep push him away. He is the most tolerant man of my age i ever know. A person who could still accept me and welcome me back warmly even after ton of things i'm not proud of. I finally see, who is the real one. Yeah, he is a person to be kept, one of a kind.

Just my two cents

"Rock that will hurts you, will hurts you hardest only for the first time"
I heard it somewhere and now it somehow slowly makes sense. I assume that rock as life and everything that happened between.
Do you notice? We all ever went to the phase when our heart get broken for the 1st time. We all did. But then, we keep moving and start fall again for another love, aint we? No matter how quite often we said we're tired and we want to stop, yet there we go again, starting another journey to find the true one. We get used to it. To the pain of what happened which is not expected to happen. It could be about love, it could be about family, or maybe... it could be about friendship.

I secretly see something in the society i live in. Or maybe the society that we live in. Society somehow will always have that kind of 'public enemy' which everyone hates. Maybe just maybe, some of them never really had the hatred, but they did it only to be accepted in some community, try to look for someone to be put the blame on. Maybe, it just kind of jealousy they secretly had but the pride they had so high they afraid to put it down and dont want to be seen as a loser who walk the wall of shame down.Or maybe that 'public enemy' been such a reflection of kind of person they actually are, kind of person they afraid they might be but never really have gut to admit it, to let their insecure side to be seen by the other.
Then, i try to see how the society works deeper to understand about what people might had in mind. Turns out, I found something which might not that surprising for us at all, that sometimes we are seeing the resemblance of our self in the people we hate the most.

Sometimes i often regret what I did in the past which did by me without thinking first back then. Which afterward leads me to a consequence that i already knew will happens when i make a move. But then again, me, the ego side of mine, kept doing it over an over. I often said to myself, that i should be ashamed for repeating the mistakes on and on. But in the end of the day, maybe i just know that sometime it takes more than times to taught you about one or two. To kept it planted hard on your mind, so it wont fades easily. While hoping we are not doing the mistakes, again.

I've been said that when something is meant to happened, then it just will happen. Cliche. But hey, aint it true? That maybe we needed to walk away from each other so many times because thats the only way to come to a full circle. So if its not, you know that 'rock will only hurts you hardest on the first time' right? Just my two cents though and never intend to push anyone to agreed on mine :)

At the end of the day

I saw many things these days. Those which always been there and those which just come and sometimes make me wonder.
1. I see you can have as many friends as you want it to be, but at the end of the day, only few who can be dependable.
2. I see you can act around like everything is just perfect, that your life is thing which everyone else begging for, but at the end of the day, you're starting to realize that its just an act you're somehow tired of.
3. I see you will get hurt, cry and fall to the deepest limbo you thought you couldnt get out, but at the end of the day, you're starting over and finally gonna be okay.
4. I see you will fell in love and fell out of love, but at the end of the day, you'll find a lover who matchs you and destinied to be yours.
5. I see you will did things while you're young, those craziness and insanity that you'll maybe regret or not, but at the end of the day, its going to be lessons which worth the sweat.
6.I see you will try so hard to prove and look for existency from the society you live in, just to let people know who you really want to be approved as, but at the end of the day it will only matters if you really do it because you had to not what you (thought) you want to.
7.I see self destruction, insecurity, denial and the phase which everyone always been there, and at the end of the day you know its just a process to be wiser and more mature, which worth the fight.
8. I see you're giving up and think there'll be no more chance for you to fix thing that went wrong on the past, but at the end of the day you let 'em go and moving on.
9. I see you hate yourself for no reasons, just because you (think) you're not that beautiful, handsome, slim and attractive enough as what you been saw on the magazine cover or runaway fashion in television, but at the end of the day you will wonder what the hell your worries are for, cause to be you is one thing people cant be.
10. And I see, you will think this post cheesy and cliche, but at the end of the day, you know what I wrote is just another reflection of life which happens these days, realize it or not.


Goodnight :)

Compromise

Maintaining a friendship is like maintaining a relationship with a lover. When you hold it way too hard, then it will only pushed away. Sometimes what you really need is compromise and understanding, and everything else will follow . Happy 1st of April! :)

Simple thing which matters that much

"You're in a good relationship if you let each other grow and not hold back each other"
"A good friend is the one who let you outgrow yourself without leaving you"
I've been thinking bout those words so much lately. Yeah, lot of things bothered my mind. They're just unfinished thought i had with my self once, and now repeatedly happen in my mind. I guess i'm having an issue with my self. Suddenly i just feel so insecure. I'm starting worrying and doubting that much, which ended badly for me and those people around me.
I know it sounds bad, to let your insecure feeling overwhelm your self and somehow look for excuses to put it on other people. I feel bad and feel sorry. But deep inside down my heart, i feel like i need a space. To outgrow myself bigger than i already am. I happened to be someone who is looking for something to be achieved. I'm a seeker for opportunities. I love it when i should get my self out from comfort zone just to see if i could survive. But what I'm doing these days are those which are the opposite of things i had in mind. It is the thing which make me feel unfulfilled. Those simple things which drive me nuts, forced me to look for things i left once. Those good old days which gave me satisfaction trough things that maybe people couldnt see and barely care about. Do you ever being in this phase? I do now, and it sucks to realize that you cant really count on anyone but yourself. Cause you're the one who is responsible for your own happiness, you cant put the blame on the other. I'am 19 going 20, and it really is my responsibilty about what is going to happen in my life. I make my own, cause the other will not stay there forever.

One good day

Time surely flies, doesnt it? And tomorrow, it will be my 1st day on 4th semester which has no day off :"(
Yesterday me with wipe, oswald and jo went to Bandung. We decided to spent a day just to be away from Jakarta.
And its been one good day i wont forget :)